The Mockmill in Literature (Pride and Prejudice)
Updated: Aug 27, 2019
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a woman, married or single, who finds herself in possession of a bag of (white Sonora) grain, must be in want of a Mockmill. However little known the feelings or views of such a woman may be, this truth should be so well fixed in the minds of her surrounding family, that a Mockmill should soon be the rightful property of said woman.
This is a fairly accurate quote of the famous novel by Jane Austen titled “Pride and Prejudice”.
I was quite surprised and delighted when I came across it on the cover of my very own journal. And no, I am not making this up! When did you ever know me to make something up? (rheorical question).
Some have accused me of having Mockmill on my brain lately and yes, I am guilty as charged. But this is completely irrelevant in face of the fact, that everyone is talking or writing about this ingeneous piece of milling equipment. Even Jane Austen. Yes, Jane Austen! I have it right here in black and white. Well, magenta on magenta, to be exact. And granted, the text I quoted above is embossed in the tiniest letters on the cover of my journal. And granted there exists the slightest possibility that I might be in need of visual aids (literally). Hmmm…., I am however, quite certain that this, in fact, is what Jane Austen wrote. Here, I show you a picture of it, just in case you doubt my claim:
Mockmill “universally acknowledged” by Jane Austen
So, now that I substantiated my claim, let’s move on...
‘What the heck is a Mockmill?’ you may be asking yourself this very instance. To you I say (in the most patient tone of voice I can muster, of course): “How could you possibly NOT know? Everyone is talking about it. Did I not point this out already in the prior paragraph?” But alright, I will take into consideration the the possibilty, however slight, that you may be one of those people living under a rock. And so, let me bring you up to speed on this wonderful contraption, not only for bread enthusiasts, but anyone who has a desire to depart from processed unhealthful food and prefer their foods to have maximum nutrional value. The Mockmill is a milling attachment which attaches to various kind of stand mixers and grinds and grinds without getting on your nerves (unlike some people I know). It can do this because it has these very special grinding stones made from corundum ceramic. What a wonderful word! Corundum. And, no this corundum milling stone is absolutely not canondrum prone! It’s even self cleaning.
We all love fresh bread. Right? Can we all agree on that? I don’t want to make a false assumption here. Alright then. Now let me ask you a serious question: “Is there anything better than fresh baked bread?” I am sure you are tempted to say “No way!” Well, let me take this glorious opportunity to educate you on the subject.
The only thing better than fresh baked bread is fresh baked bread from freshly milled flour. Wolfgang Mock
And once Wolfgang Mock had this epiphany, he designed his (my beloved) Mockmill. Just like that. And then Jane Austen’s main character, Elisabeth Bennet upon looking at it, uttered these famous words: “We must have been designed for each other.” I know exactly how she felt when she exclaimed “I love. I love. I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day forward”. I felt it myself! Wherever I will go, from this day forward, my beloved (Mockmill) will go with me. And I am, in fact moving into a tiny studio and must leave many things behind. But not my Mckmill. Oh no, siree! Never my Mockmill! I will find a space under my bed if I must, but I will NOT be separated from it!!!
One of the many characteristics I personally love about my of my Mockmill is its gentleness. Even though grains pass through the corundum milling stone turning at a maximum 220 RPM, it transforms the grain kernels into fine flour without generating a level of heat which would sap nutrients. Such power of restraint!
Again Elisabeth Bennet captured my sentiments when she noted “I must learn to be content with being healthier than I deserve” after she learned in detail about the benefits of milling fresh grain with the Mockmill.
I could say so many more wonderful things about the advantage of my Mockmill, and I will. But for today I leave you with a parting quote from Jane Austen who knew a good deal when she saw one. After all, she did end up marrying Mr. D’Arcy.
“Without a Mockmill, life would be a blank to me.”
Over and Out.