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Zombies and Sourdough (Part 1)

So, my darling husband and I were channel surfing the other day.  I am not much of a TV person because there are just too many other things to do besides sitting motionless for hours and watching some dumbish (in my humble unopiniated opinion) action movie for the umphteens time!  So, as usual I was doing something else constructive, but when I heard French being spoken in our living-room, I looked up from whatever it was that I was doing and instantly became more interested in what was going on on the screen. There were a few  attractive looking actors on the screen speaking French.  I am ashamed to admit, that was all it took to suck me into the story.  Turns out we were watching the Sundance channel and a french TV series called “Les Revenants” (The Returned). The genre this TV drama falls under according to Wikipedia is supernatural drama, mystery and horror.

We actually ended up watching ALL the episodes back to back.  Unheard of! The individual episodes focused on each of the different characters and were named after them.  There were episodes named Camille, Adele, Simon and three other ones.  I never, ever watch TV episodes for hours (unless I am sick)!  But then again, I had never come across a French TV series on the SunDance channel before with attractive looking actors speaking french and a story line that was both  puzzling and interesting.  We got into the story when Camille, (who had “Returned” 10 years after her tragic death in a school bus accident and she is still the same age as when she died), makes a pass at her twin sister Lena’s ex-boyfriend, both of them now ten years ahead of Camille.

Did I mention the movie had subtitles? I am always intrigued by movies with subtitles.  I speak German and some French and can make out a little bit of Italian, but even when we watch a martial arts movie in Chinese and for sure there is no way we could possibly understand a word that’s being said, we still turn up the volume when they speak softly.  As if that volume control would miraculously turn into a universal translator and help us understand what’s being said on screen. Why is that, I ask you?

I don’t have the answer to that mystery but what I do know is, that if you watch a movie with subtitles in a language you do understand, in can get very annoying for the people you are watching it with.  Because they always have to listened to you saying out loud “She didn’t say that!”   In my opinion, the person who translates the script should get paid according to a special formula that takes into consideration the percentage of translation versus the actual word count of the script.  Because I tell you, Camille poured her little “returned” heart out to her twin sister Lina’s ex-boyfriend, using all the words she could muster in her teenage vocabulary.  And yet, all you read in the subtitles was “Don’t you love me?”

And then there was Victor, the little boy who was murdered 35 years ago.  Everyone else who “returned” had been gone for 10 years, a nice consistent number.  I am not sure if I disliked Victor more because he kept staring at people at the most inappropriates times or because he broke the pattern of the ten years.  I like patterns.

I think I was into the second or third episode before I realized that all these “returned” people were actually zombies.  Very attractive zombies, I must admit, but zombies nevertheless.  I generally don’t waste my time watching zombie movies.  But I was intrigued and already so far suckered into the story, that resistance was  futile.

And then I found out from Camille’s mother that she (Camille) was always hungry.  That was just one of the things of the “returned”.  They could always eat.  And no, not human flesh, but regular food.  Which made them so much more preferable to other zombies, don’t you think? It appears their bodies were constantly craving nourishment.

That was the first time I started thinking about sourdough.  Remember, how the pioneers were always able to keep their bellies filled as long as they had their sourdogh with them?  If you have ever eaten sourdough pancakes, you know how nicely filling they are.

Then something else happened.  Camille developed a spot of bad skin on her face!  At first her now ten year older twin sister Lina artfully covers it up with make-up wich takes her a long time to apply. Not that either one of them minds.  Remember, they are twins after all and have been separated by Camille’s death for ten years.  So, there is a lot of catching up going on here. But eventually (or maybe they just got all caught up), Camille decides this is too much of a daily hassle and she just wears her hair down to shield her face from unkind stares.

That was the second time I started thinking about sourdough.  Bad skin can be a sign of poor nutrition.  Who knows what Camille put in her zombie body when she got the munchies.  Apparently not any good stuff.  Certainly not any whole grain goodness, like the pioneers did, I am sure of it!  And apparently she was suffering the consequences! On the other hand, all the young females had very lush, thick hair which seems to contradict my poor nutrition theory. Hmmm!

Below is a picture of the English version of the series.  I can deal with zombies who look this pleasant.  Victor is the one with the big head in the middle.  Can you feel his stare?  Creepy.

Now that I have given you a little synopsis of the “Returned”, I am going to ask you to to hold out until tomorrow to find out how zombies can positively benefit from sourdough.  I have to ask you this favor because: 1) can’t find my notes that I jotted down at Starbucks yesterday, and 2) I am way too tired to continue to make sense.

Girl, you are talking about zombies and sourdough! Looks like you ran out of sense a long time ago already. Go to bed.

Over and Out.

#TheReturned #zombies #sourdough #Sundance #nutrition

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